Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you are the butt of a joke for failing at something? Do you remember the embarrassment and shame? If that is the case: don’t be. It’s pointless. In fact, you should be proud of yourself. (By the way, I know I mentioned that I would be posting once weekly, and the last post is just two days old, but here we go.)
A Wild Experience
Let me tell you the backstory: Last year I went hiking with some friends. After hiking for two hours we finally arrived at the beginning of the steep part of the mountain, where vegetation ceased to exist. After discussing if we should proceed or not, two of us decided to proceed while the third one decided to stay. Long story short, after climbing the steep slopes we got stuck due to terrible weather and slippery naked rock. A rescue helicopter was on the way to us. In the meantime, we took the chance and managed to climb down on our own. It was fucking terrifying to say the least.
All was good until a year later, by pure chance, I got the pleasure of finding out that the third guy who stayed down was laughing at this for the whole time. I found out that he has an “internal joke” with his friends and family that has “become a staple” about my mishap. Ouch.
A shift in Perspective
For a minute I felt exactly as mentioned: embarrassed. But soon enough it hit me. This motherfucker didn’t even try. Then and there I realized an obvious fact: even in my failing, I still went further than he ever did. That immediately put everything into perspective. This story serves as the perfect metaphor. The cowards of this life who never dare to embark to the top of the mountain and instead choose to stay down are same the people who foolishly laugh at the daring ones who decided to go on despite everything. From down below, they point their finger upwards toward you for failing, while at the same time ignoring the fact that they themselves failed even worse. They failed at the lower height.
coping mechanisms at play
The sad thing is that the losers of life will hide their cowardice with exactly such behavior, and more often than not involve others too. But in reality, what they do is they spend their time discussing your adventures.
Another thing is that a loser will always explain away their cowardice by the means of rationalization. They will have every possible reason and excuse. But deep down, they know. Deep down, they know that cowardice hides beneath all that mental gymnastics. Of course, that would be too painful to admit, so they will call you an idiot for trying. They will also call themselves “wise, calculated, and rational”. Let’s grant the coward some credit for the sake of argument. Even if they call you an idiot for trying, it is always better to be an idiot than to be a pussy. Especially for men. If you are an idiot the worst thing is that you’ll get mocked a bit, but when you are a pussy, you lose respect, which is the base currency for men.
The inherent Problem with masking a lack of courage
The initial mockery faded when his girlfriend spoke and the conversation went like this:
Her: “Why didn’t you go with them?”
Him: “I didn’t want to take the risk.”
Her: “You should’ve still tried.”
She wished that he had decided to go, despite knowing how it all ended. How crazy is that! If you think about it, it really isn’t. A woman will tolerate a daring mistake, but never cowardice. Her disappointment was obvious, as was his insecurity. You cannot explain away the truth which everyone understands instinctively. People argue and debate everything, but nature acts. It was the moment where she realized that she was with a pussy. The whole table of five got uncomfortable. They might have laughed at my story, but it was rather lighthearted. That is the key difference. People might laugh at a foolish man, but they will despise a cowardly man. They will be disappointed in him. There will be second-hand shame. This will make you shrink as a man.
Identifying a Coward
You might think now that it is not fair to judge a single situation in isolation, and you would be right. However, that is not the case. If you spend time with someone, and they are a coward, patterns will start to emerge. This type of person is generally very hesitant about everything, anxious even about the smallest things; they lack spontaneity and a sense of adventure. Such characteristics will consistently manifest. After some time, it becomes obvious who you are dealing with.
Embrace Courage and Live Fully
The morale of the story: if you have to choose between being an idiot and a pussy, always choose the former. Embrace a courageous life. Embrace risk and danger. Be adventurous. Take the spontaneous trip when it’s offered to you. Do the new thing, even if you don’t know how it will play out. You got to set your sail into the open sea. Live offensively, not defensively. This is how you will have interesting stories to tell. This is the essence of being a man. Even if it leaves a few scars behind. The coward will get old without bodily scars, but his soul will bear a massive hole. Heck, even if it costs you your life, because at the end of the day, the least important thing is how long you live. What’s important is how you live.
See you soon,
Mirza
P.S. If you want to go more in depth about why courage is literally more important than life itself, I highly recommend you to read Courage is Calling by Ryan Holyday.
